Top 10 Reasons Why Andrea Miller’s Next Husband Will NOT Be Indian
2010 June 4
by Aparna & Lakshmi
Here’s the deal Andrea Miller-–we’ve read your “advice” for the non-Indian on how to date the Indian in the Onion Huffington Post.
We have thought about it–-since you’re so good at giving out free advice, we thought you would appreciate some as well.
- When you describe a diverse and rich culture by reducing it to beauty, Bollywood, and bhangra, you minimize the realities and complexities of our people’s existence in a way that can only be described as racist and, well, ignorant. Don’t get us started on how you have homogenized 1 billion people into a fun-loving accessory for Joe/Jane Smith.
- Consider it passe that you have to reference the Kama Sutra several times while talking about dating Indian people. I mean, really?
- Most Indians are innately gracious , social creatures? You know, the British thought so, too, and we all know how that worked out for them.
- A hubby is not a hobby-–we know that can be confusing sometimes.
- You clearly do not understand your privilege here. An article that puts out a few ridiculous points to snag us simpleton Indians is both frivolous and damaging. Some of your readers have been commenting on your piece and wondering why we should be upset by what is clearly such a positive portrayal. Here’s the deal-–you don’t get to minimize my existence to some cute yet exotic sound bites. I don’t care if you think this is a compliment.
- India Does Not Equal Bollywood, and if you believe that, we’re not sure what else you could believe.
- On the bright side–you talk to cabbies. Sadly, you think they all speak Hindi.
- You’re clearly embarrassing your own kind–we like the plain and simple STFU advice being doled out here.
- Okay–some clearly fall into the SRK loving category–we’ll give you this.
- Racism is racism. AND stupid (even well-intentioned) ignorant opinions can also be racist.
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Quick response and nice summary! Way to fight ignorance with logic.
Nice. I felt increasingly aghast as I read Miller’s piece and was relieved to find a link to your response in the comments.
Any chance you — or others in your network — might be interested in promoting local measures to stop racial profiling? I got some resources you might appreciate at http://www.BORDC.org — or holler at me and I’ll share links….
If the Huffington Post article was meant as a satire (which I think it is), it’s not funny.
If it’s to be taken as face value (as you seem to assume) it’s perfectly stupid.
But racist?
I’m a French person with a heavy French accent in frequent contact with North Americans. If this article is racist, then I’d have to scream racism each time someone gives me “Poirot speak” or raves about the French being so sophisticated and versed in arts and great lovers, or alludes to the Pink Panther, or quotes Patti la Belle (“voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir”)
Now, if someone told me that the French are smelly cowards, I would consider it racist (in the broader sense of slandering an entire group of people). No one said that to my face so far, should I precise, I’m just speculating.
But “cherchez la femme”, “ooh la la” and “Moulin Rouge” — not racist. Stereotypic, yes. Annoying as hell, definitely. But not racist.
(sadly, no one told me “fetchez la vache” yet. It would have made my day).
That is exactly the problem with people like you. You take something trivial to be racial. This self imposed exile of establishing what it means to be Indian or what is racism at best is naive and at best ridiculous. Racism is a fact. If you are a minority, sorry! deal with it. Let me elucidate the last statement. Indians by far are the most racist within their own country. It is a fact. It is not a reflection of the entire society, but well 800 million out of 1.3 billion. The economic progress in India has been the facilitating factor in eliminating the pseudo racist, almost comical nature, but only among few hundred million. The population numbers are so staggering in India, that there cannot be a generalization period.
Fine so you dont like what Andrea posted. Fair enough. But to give her opinion a racist slant, is ignorant. You could have for example clarified, that hey just like me most Indians are actually not that good looking, and that hey, unless you are in North India, people dont really speak Hindi, rather English is a more universal binding language in the country. But no, instead of giving clarity you chose to put a racist slant to it. Because you yourself cannot describe India or Indians, so please from an ‘outsiders’ perspective, at least give her the credence of attempting to date/marry an Indian. Think about your own exodus to the midwest or maybe it was your parents. Instead of getting polarized and attempting polarization, learn to unify and help each other correct and inform.
Andrea’s next husband could easily be an Indian, in fact millions will line up, since globalization has also elevated Indian men from looking away from Indian women and opening an alien planet full of other women with many things that many Indian women lack whether in India or somewhere else. Question is who will be your next husband, or girl friend. Yes nobody is perfect, and no country is, and no culture is. So ease with estrogen and the reaction, and expand your vision to encompass the Planet as a spectacular entity without borders.
This is ridiculous. See it’s actually YOUR post that’s borders on being offensive to an Indian (myself included), as it’s readily apparent you’re taking a thinly veiled white anglo saxon apologist’s point of view.
The article generalizes yeah, but she ISN’T talking about JUST American born Indians who seem to be the ones getting into a fit over it, it’s talking about Indians, and you do NOT speak for all Indians. Your experience is entirely different than that of an Indian living in India, or Spain, or South Africa, etc… You do NOT get to generalize about what racism is either.
Have you lived in India to any degree where you can comment on what general memes of culture there are? Culture over there isn’t what you consider “Indian” culture here, not in Chicago, Naperville, the Midwest or whatever. YOU guys seem to take the assumption that ALL Indians MUST have a point of view similar to yours, so in fact you can speak freely about just how ignorant the article is. Reductive? yes. Ignorant? sadly for the likes of your argument, no. But the fact is that while the author of the article takes liberties in generalizing the specific likes and dislikes of an individual Indian person within a population into the more visible aspects of our culture, it ISN’T RACIST.
Your accusation as such only serves to highlight the sensitive nature of your relationship to the land YOU live in. What is it that you consider racism? It seems to be all over your post, do you really know what REAL racism is, because it offends someone who has actually endured it. While not ALL Indians share in these traits, can you really tell me that Hindi movie culture isn’t big in India? Can you honestly tell me that Indians while not all of them Rhodes scholars, or even aspiring to be, that when given the chance they don’t generally have a high passion for personal achievement? Can you honestly tell anyone Indian, that while not all of us partake in it, we as a culture don’t take food seriously?
My problem with your post is this, it REEKS of your unresolved relationship to your waspy Chicago counterparts, and whether true or not, highlights the potential contempt you may have for actual Indian culture, not what’s shown on Saturday Bollywood Wrap Up or whatever. You’ve taken what was supposed to be a flattering article about Indians, from a woman who obviously has only had a Punjabi influenced interaction while there and married, and bastardized it to suit your agenda.
HopFrog: Racism = prejudice + power. As far as I know, French people are not a particularly disenfranchised bunch in the United States, as compared to non-European immigrants, so it might not sting in the same way to hear the ignorant comments you have described. Correct me if I’m wrong, though. I myself am a shameless francophile, so I only butcher the language in an earnest attempt to my favorite language.
Transient: There’s no point in attending to each and every point she makes to clarify that it’s incorrect. (“Indian people love bhangra, and will give you kinky kama sutric sex if you twist the lightbulb correctly…” ?!?!?!?) The very fact that this woman could live in India for THREE YEARS and *still* think anything in her article is true, is an abomination, and speaks to an ignorance that is simply not innocent.
Abishek: The whole point of the post was to say that generalizations don’t work, and these generalizations are particularly icky in this article. Why does she reduce 1 billion people who live within a set of borders (partially disputed, mind you) as “a people” in the first place (do these “people” speak the same language, write in the same alphabet, prepare the same cuisine, share a religion or a collective history?)? What is “Indian culture” anyways?
The point of the article is that the territory that comprises India is complex, and it cannot be reduced to a singular generalization by ANYONE, and I am sure the authors would concede that this includes Indians in diaspora, whose perspective you seem to dismiss without consideration.
I would caution against assuming anything about the authors’ personal and professional relationships with India (the state and the idea of it), and I think it’s pretty obvious that the authors are not presuming to talk on behalf of anybody. So don’t worry – you still have a platform to speak for yourself, so go ahead and thank memsahib for her “flattery”!
thanks!
Exoticism of a people is the other end of demonizing of a people in both cases, one is saying that a specific group of people is innately not like the rest of human beings with their faults and strengths like any other group with people, by saying they are “innately gracious” is no different than saying they are “innately violent” even if on the surface one might seem flattering it is still based on treating a group in a way that puts them outside of “normal” and ultimately both are used by lack of ability to see people as equal with all their good and bad being no different in any country, religion etc. It is definitely harmful to reduce people to a few simple words and qualities.
a much needed retort
Fembot: You still dont get the point do you? Like Abhishek pointed out that Hindi movies, food, music is actually a big part millions of Indians, then why not use those as a starting point for informing other races about things that many if not every Indian person is accustomed to. It is not about generalization, it is a starting point for information. She is a white women in Delhi. A region which primarily does speak hindi, a region where bhangra music is prevalent in parties, weddings, clubs and lounges, a region where food is a big part of social gatherings and a region where bollywood movies are watching by millions every day. So how is that racist? It is not only factual but considering she has been able to adopt to this a daily part of her life is actually commendable. Her next husband (i hope she keeps this marriage forever), but her next husband could easily be an Indian guy. Dont be foolish to assume that all Indian women are ideal partners, they are not, just like all Indian men are not and just like any men and women from other races to each other. Everything in her article is actually true for millions of people in that region. It may not be true for you, but you will be a trivial minority in that group. Her article was an introduction to meeting or perhaps having a foundation of a knowledge base as to what many Indian guys and families in India are accustomed to on a daily basis. From that point on, when you actually do meet the person, you get into the vagaries and minute details of their personal, family, and societal differences from the rest of the community. As far as racism is concerned that article is by no means racist. Its funny all this outrage that comes from Indians, especially women, as if they know what racism is. You do not. And if you do, then you know that Indian society is extremely racist and split on state lines, caste, money and a host of issues. Have things changed in the last 10 years, absolutely, but among a small minority. The vast population still does not indulge in inter caste marriages and or marriages between different groups of people in their own state. So please before you give her a racist slant, relax and tell that to your fellow countrymen. I dont know why people like you get offended by these things. You guys either lack a sense of humor, or come from a very dramatic, oppressed, controlled families or experiences that this sudden form of liberation in a country like United States or somewhere else, gives you this innate rather flawed sense of global understanding and equity. It aint so. Will it be one day, perhaps, but no so fast and not this easily. India’s democracy is mere 70 years old, a scratch on the surface. Change, equity, knowledge and understanding is an evolutionary process that takes time. Dont be so naive to assume that every person whether an Indian origin or abroad, has all the knowledge and information about India. Andrea or any other non Indian women can easily beat out many Indian girls who have little knowledge about India’s culture, language or men. In fact many girls in India themselves are naive about the “true” history and culture of their own community. The fact that she is surviving in a chaotic country like India, itself is incredible, something that many Indian men or families would be very happy about. Does she accurately represent me in her column, no, but she does a good job in representing millions.
“You clearly do not understand your privilege here.”
Oh really? Who is conferring privilege on white women? If you guessed Bollywood, you are right? More and and more white women in Bollywood as love interest of Indian men, sharply distorting reality. And Amitabh Bacchan sings the virtue of white skin in Khabi Alvida Nahin Kahna..when the God of Indian movie sings the virtue of white womanhood (disgusting!!!), what do you expect people like Andrea Miller to do. I strongly suggest that we Indians look at ourselves first and what we are doing to confer white privilege that results in atttitudes such as Andrea’s.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZuNVQ1fI1E
I am surprised how Andrea Miller has not written article about how we Indians are white skin worshippers.